10th floor

I had a weird dream last night. I was scaling a 10-storey building. Yes, scaling... I know I could have just used the elevator, or even the stairs... but for some reason, I chose to scale the building. So, there I was, trying to climb to the 10th floor.

The first steps were very difficult. I kept on falling. But soon, I got the feel of it and later on, I felt myself moving up. I was on the 7th floor when realization hit me. It seemed to me that no matter how much more I climb, the distance between me and the 10th floor doesn't seem to change. I still remain to be in the 7th floor. I was faced with two choices. Should I give up, let go and just hope that after my fall from the 7th floor, I'd somehow manage to survive? I will surely get hurt - a lot - but there's still a chance of survival. Or should I keep on climbing and hope against hope that I can somehow close the distance between me and the top floor? Wouldn’t that be akin to blindly reaching for something? And what if I exhaust myself before I succeed in closing the gap? I will fall and completely break myself... by then, would I even have the energy to pick myself up?

I woke up before I got to deciding between the two. Somehow, I understand the dream now... but I still don't know which choice to take.

What crossed my mind were even more questions: why did I decide to scale that building? Well, given I really wanted to scale, why, oh why, did I pick that building to scale? Why didn't I opt for something lower to start with? Or why didn't I just choose a building whose top floor doesn't move away?!?

...

I dreamt of flying

and of the thrill, awe, and excitement it gives

But no, I wasn't the one with the wings

I wasn't the one gliding through the clouds

I wasn't the one flying

for I am afraid of falling

I'm terrified of jumping

I'm afraid my wings won't flap

I fear all the uncertainties around me

Do I need to jump at a specific time?

Do I need to have a certain angle?

What if my calculations aren't correct?

What if the wind I'm counting on fails me?

Will I fall into oblivion?

I may never get to fly

For I am afraid of falling

And I am terrified of jumping

Lesson from the White Queen :)

wishful thinkings

helpless beings

an imaginary world in

the actuality that is reality

almost but not quite

real but imagined

everything and nothing

yearnings

options

understandings

what could have beens

and what ifs

in a blink of an eye

things could change

in a blink of an eye

nothing can be everything and everything can be nothing

gather up the courage to dive

for implicit statements may tell something... but not exactly everything

open to the possibility of the impossible

red... orange... green

what are you waiting for?

P.S. Started out with one line.. e ayaw umalis sa utak ko nun line, ayan hahahaha!!! :))

Introducing Delusion :)

It is unfortunate that Delusion is not tall, dark and handsome. He is merely very tall, very dark and very handsome... but of course, this is also according to him :P

Delusion is a being with a world of his own. :) He is a man of few words... very few words... but numerous talents. I've known him for almost a decade now and I can attest to his genius :) (He can draw; He can write; He solves software and hardware problems like he's munching on some snacks! :D)... He has complete control and understanding of everything around him. For him, everything centers on him and him alone... but mind you, he isn't egotistic... just in certain aspects of his life :P

Miss Construed is a naturally sociable person. She has no problems dealing with all sorts of personalities.

Delusion fancies Miss Construed... a lot. Though he never admits it out loud, it is very eminent in how he talks about her all the time and how her every action affects him. But of course, only a few friends know this (those few friends have now probably doubled due to this post ... that is, if they realize who Delusion is :P). And Delusion, being true to his name, and loyal to his projected image, insists on the opposite...

In his world, Miss Construed is head-over-heels in love with him. She'd do anything to be near him. And now, their unexpected temporary separation is driving him nuts :D...

Delusion still can't admit (even to himself) his true feelings.. or probably, he, himself, isn't aware of it yet (fine, let's give him the benefit of the doubt:P). So he tries (stress on the word "tries") to divert his attention to other people... Miss FX, Miss Badminton, and Miss (es) ... nevermind :P (pardon the lack of creativity; I just don't know them well enough to know their names ... and since they're not Miss Construed, they only comprise around 10% (combined) of Delusion's stories :D) Stories of Delusion's interactions with them to follow (depending on how he'll react to this :P)

I've tried (unsuccessfully though) to make Delusion realize how he really feels towards Miss Construed and act before he loses the chance to do so. But he's very stubborn and he just won't listen to any other views (Yes Delusion, you are as stubborn as a mule! :P) Hopefully, those who know who Delusion is will help me convince him to take action ... fast! (or as suggested by a mutually close friend, at least before you go... *clues on Delusion's identity here!!!*) :P

So Delusion, get ready... your equally-stubborn friends will start badgering you :)

Hope - Agony - Dream ... 3?

Disclaimer: For the purpose of making this easier to write and read, I'll have Hope and Dream take on female personas and Agony take on a male one. :)

I used to really hate Dream (ok, hate is such a strong word... maybe dislike?). In my eyes, Dream has it easy. She may have her own Agony (where she could be Hope) who's also going for his own Dream... but still, Dream has another Agony waiting for her. Hope, on the other hand, is waiting for Agony but it's uncertain if she is someone else's Dream.

Dream could always opt to go with Agony. Hope may be shattered at first, but at least she won't have to wait and hold onto nothing if there really is nothing. She could start getting on with her life.

Or, Dream could straight out say No to Agony and let him move on with his life. Maybe then, he'd start noticing Hope.

Dream has a choice. So, Dream generally has it easier.

Now, after being amidst certain ... things? ... I understand her more. I understand that there really are times when there's nothing that can be done except smile, do nothing, and just let everything around you unfold. There are times when Dream just can't do anything. All she can do is ignore everything and continue living her own life, her own way. She may hurt Agony but that's part of it.

the beauty (and horrors :D) of one-sided love affairs...hahaha :D

bora hangover :D

I wanna go back (we all do :D) ... hehehe...

I've had a lot of fun and met new friends at the same time. Hopefully, we get to have a second (and third, fourth, etc.) trip :)

Tama nga si Roxy, travelling like this is addicting... Rox, kelan next hop? :)

Island hoppers, pics ha? :)

Note: pics to follow ... probably in my multiply site :)

kung me shakes na ganun lang sana dito... hehehe...

Hope - Agony - Dream ... update :D

(Disclaimer: To the Original Agony (you know who you are), no, you're not the 1st Agony I'm referring to here... neither are you the 2nd... besides, we haven't talked for quite some time now (and I know you still haven't gotten over your Dream... whether you admit it or not) :P ... but I also have other friends who, just like you, embody "Agony")

I just had another talk with Agony. He's over his Dream now and he just realized that Hope's always been there. I don't know what'll happen but I can only *hope* he'll get his new Dream. ;)

I talked to another friend and realized he's also Agony. He's blinded by his Dream... so much that he forgot about everything else around him. Now, he's slowly realizing the difference between reality and dreams... and that sometimes (okay, most of the times) we just really cannot have our Dreams... but we can still have the Hope to build new Dreams :)


Hope - Agony - Dream entry :)

Note: labo? hehehe oo malabo talaga :D