Smile! :)

I always smile.

I smile when I hear a good joke. I smile when I read a great book. I smile when I'm with my friends and family.

I smile when I'm happy. I smile when I'm contented. I smile when I'm delighted. I smile when I'm pleased.

I smile when I'm sad. I smile when I'm hurting. I smile when I'm depressed. I smile to hide the tears.

I always smile.

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Thanks for being part of my life :)

God Bless!!!

Hide and Seek

I'm good in hiding...

I'm sad but you won't notice it unless I tell you. I'm hurting but you won't know if I don't want you to.

I'm good in hiding but I simply suck at finding...

I can't read your meanings unless you state it directly. I can't understand your actions if you don't tell me explicitly.

I suck at finding... which is probably why I still haven't found you.

I'm good in hiding... Maybe that's why you still haven't found me too...

Where is Happiness?

It is a known fact that we all want to be happy. But how exactly can you be happy if you don’t even have an inkling as to what could make you happy?

How can you say you’re happy? Could it be from how often you smile or laugh? But what if you’re just faking it? Can anyone tell you how you feel just basing on your aura? Or would any “observations” remain as they are: mere observations… not exactly true but relatively true (depends on how a person sees it)… If you say you’re happy just because you feel you’re happy… how sure are you that you really are happy and you’re not just convincing yourself to think and feel that way?

And if one isn’t happy, how can she gain that state? Where should she start looking? What should she start doing? And if she finds nothing, when should she start giving up? Why is happiness so elusive? Are we sure that each and every one of us is to have our own happy endings… or are some people destined to just be watching on the sidelines?

I look around me and I see smiling faces… my friends having a blast, my sister’s smile reaching her eyes, yet another sister looking proud as she played her latest composition, my mom and dad enclosed in each other’s embrace… and I knew, I just knew… I’m one of the watchers… Because even if I don’t exactly feel the same happiness they had, just seeing them with it made me feel I had even just a part of it. :)

Note:
Sorry… being cynical seems to be my past time lately. :)

Am I Lonely?

A friend told me that lately, I seem to be emitting a weird aura... as if something changed and no one can actually pinpoint what it is. He told me that I seem to be lonelier and more "subdued" (I don’t know exactly what he means but he was able to conclude this thru the short ym chats we occasionally have).

It made me wonder... have I really been lonelier? I can't really tell. Anyone, please… have I been really??

I know for a fact that I haven't been excessively happy the last few days, but does it actually translate to a worsening case of loneliness? And if indeed I am sadder than usual, why? I can't seem to find the reason why I could be more depressed. Nothing of much importance has happened... (my life is boring I know) and in fact, I gained new friends :) and I have achieved some of my minor (short-term) goals in life (and still in the process of getting more :P)... shouldn't I be happier?

The comment bugged me and made me reexamine my inner feelings… yes, I feel more tired than usual (I have no idea how it could be possible since my work load has decreased incredibly – compared to what I used to do in my previous company). Has it been showing in how I express myself?

So, I asked another friend. And she told me I seem to be in a state where “things seem to be stable”. Keyword: “seem”. I suppose it’s because I want it to be considered stable so I convince myself that it is…

Oh well...

maraming salamat!!!

super late, I know... but still... thanks to everyone who attended last dec 8... esp to those who gave messages...

thadde, promise, pinakinggan ko uli pag alis nyo at humagalpak ako sa katatawa... saan nyo ba nahugot yung mga yun??? at ang "serious" messsages nyo... sa cd na lang yun.. wala nang ibang makakarinig... manlaglag ba?!? hehehehe...

erika and hamster, thanks sa messages! muah!!! GL8, salamat sa gifts!!! fezter, naks!!! salamat sa book at syempre sa pagpunta :) hehehehe :)

kim, san mo nakuha ang mga pictures na yun (akala ko naitago ko na lahat ng ganun)??? hay... sana pinili mo man lang yun mga maaayos ang kuha ko! but no!!! you grabbed the opportunity for revenge!!! you evil sister you!!! hehehe.. seriously, thanks sa pag-effort!!! :)

ma, pa, thanks!!! mwah!!!!

again thanks everyone!!!