Smile! :)

I always smile.

I smile when I hear a good joke. I smile when I read a great book. I smile when I'm with my friends and family.

I smile when I'm happy. I smile when I'm contented. I smile when I'm delighted. I smile when I'm pleased.

I smile when I'm sad. I smile when I'm hurting. I smile when I'm depressed. I smile to hide the tears.

I always smile.

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Thanks for being part of my life :)

God Bless!!!

Hide and Seek

I'm good in hiding...

I'm sad but you won't notice it unless I tell you. I'm hurting but you won't know if I don't want you to.

I'm good in hiding but I simply suck at finding...

I can't read your meanings unless you state it directly. I can't understand your actions if you don't tell me explicitly.

I suck at finding... which is probably why I still haven't found you.

I'm good in hiding... Maybe that's why you still haven't found me too...

Where is Happiness?

It is a known fact that we all want to be happy. But how exactly can you be happy if you don’t even have an inkling as to what could make you happy?

How can you say you’re happy? Could it be from how often you smile or laugh? But what if you’re just faking it? Can anyone tell you how you feel just basing on your aura? Or would any “observations” remain as they are: mere observations… not exactly true but relatively true (depends on how a person sees it)… If you say you’re happy just because you feel you’re happy… how sure are you that you really are happy and you’re not just convincing yourself to think and feel that way?

And if one isn’t happy, how can she gain that state? Where should she start looking? What should she start doing? And if she finds nothing, when should she start giving up? Why is happiness so elusive? Are we sure that each and every one of us is to have our own happy endings… or are some people destined to just be watching on the sidelines?

I look around me and I see smiling faces… my friends having a blast, my sister’s smile reaching her eyes, yet another sister looking proud as she played her latest composition, my mom and dad enclosed in each other’s embrace… and I knew, I just knew… I’m one of the watchers… Because even if I don’t exactly feel the same happiness they had, just seeing them with it made me feel I had even just a part of it. :)

Note:
Sorry… being cynical seems to be my past time lately. :)

Am I Lonely?

A friend told me that lately, I seem to be emitting a weird aura... as if something changed and no one can actually pinpoint what it is. He told me that I seem to be lonelier and more "subdued" (I don’t know exactly what he means but he was able to conclude this thru the short ym chats we occasionally have).

It made me wonder... have I really been lonelier? I can't really tell. Anyone, please… have I been really??

I know for a fact that I haven't been excessively happy the last few days, but does it actually translate to a worsening case of loneliness? And if indeed I am sadder than usual, why? I can't seem to find the reason why I could be more depressed. Nothing of much importance has happened... (my life is boring I know) and in fact, I gained new friends :) and I have achieved some of my minor (short-term) goals in life (and still in the process of getting more :P)... shouldn't I be happier?

The comment bugged me and made me reexamine my inner feelings… yes, I feel more tired than usual (I have no idea how it could be possible since my work load has decreased incredibly – compared to what I used to do in my previous company). Has it been showing in how I express myself?

So, I asked another friend. And she told me I seem to be in a state where “things seem to be stable”. Keyword: “seem”. I suppose it’s because I want it to be considered stable so I convince myself that it is…

Oh well...

maraming salamat!!!

super late, I know... but still... thanks to everyone who attended last dec 8... esp to those who gave messages...

thadde, promise, pinakinggan ko uli pag alis nyo at humagalpak ako sa katatawa... saan nyo ba nahugot yung mga yun??? at ang "serious" messsages nyo... sa cd na lang yun.. wala nang ibang makakarinig... manlaglag ba?!? hehehehe...

erika and hamster, thanks sa messages! muah!!! GL8, salamat sa gifts!!! fezter, naks!!! salamat sa book at syempre sa pagpunta :) hehehehe :)

kim, san mo nakuha ang mga pictures na yun (akala ko naitago ko na lahat ng ganun)??? hay... sana pinili mo man lang yun mga maaayos ang kuha ko! but no!!! you grabbed the opportunity for revenge!!! you evil sister you!!! hehehe.. seriously, thanks sa pag-effort!!! :)

ma, pa, thanks!!! mwah!!!!

again thanks everyone!!!

hectic...

*Sigh* ... had a very hectic weekend (yes, I suck at titles; can't help it though :D)... Last Saturday we had a post birthday and thanksgiving celebration for Kim. I can honestly (and confidently) say that Friday and Saturday would probably be part of the 10 best days of her life :) hehehe.. *wink wink* :) I'm so happy for you! Mwaah!!! So eventhough we had to slave over that day, it was all worth it. I haven't seen her that happy for a while now. She was (a bit?) sad on her birthday that she actually invited us to watch a movie :) (hehehe, yeah, I've seen One More Chance and it's nice... just thought it would be more realistic had they cut the movie somewhere... the ending made it seem they're playing safe... oh well, maybe it's just the bitter side of me talking because my sisters thought it was logical to end it that way) We slept around 1 am so it's understandable that we woke up only around 9am. Then we had to rush because there was a scheduled trip to Nueva Ecija... to check if a family friend could help Kim go to US faster. Unfortunately, it'll also take around 2-3 years for her papers to be processed. Might as well go with a big agency :) ehehehe... A lot of things happened to us yesterday (Sunday) but I won't give out any details ... since nothing is final yet... but one thing's for sure, it'll change my life, hopefully for the better. (No, it does not concern me going abroad though I'd surely want to :P)

congrats!!!

congrats kim!!! told you you'd make it! kaw pa! :D now that you've passed nclex, la ka na iintindihin masyado ha? heheheh... pde na kita utusan magbake! joke! heheheh... anyway, regarding your plans while waiting for your US papers to be processed, you have my support. Basta sabihin mo lang kung ano maitutulong namin, you know we'll always be there to back you up! :D (and while you're there... wag kalimutan ang bilin ko - namin pala ni kai - ha? hehehe... alam mo naman - hopefully - ang type namin :D joke!)

congrats uli!!! mwaaaahhh!!! :)

dressy thursday

Ok, so I'm not really new to wearing dresses to work :P but this one, I kind of had doubts with. Don't get me wrong, it's not horrible... it's nice. In fact, I can even say it's classy. :) Mom bought this dress months ago and has been nagging me to wear it to work. It's a black button-down knee-length (did I get the adjective arrangement correct? :P) dress. It came with a black belt but my mom and my sister insisted I use the red belt they also bought (so I could complete the look with a pair of red stilettos and a necklace with a heart-shaped key pendant -yes, the one some friends teased me about :P). All in all, the ensemble was actually nice (pardon me for the obvious lack of other adjectives... I'm just not used to describing outfits :D), so what made me fret and worry about wearing it? Three reasons.

First, I need to wear stilettos or, as they (my mom and sister slash fashion consultants :D) said, risk "ruining the effect" of the dress. But since I got a free ride to office (courtesy of Kuya Son... thanks!!! :D), I only have to worry about getting home without getting sprained (or ultimately embarrassed because of tripping - and the likes - which, if I may say, is very likely to happen considering my semi-clumsy nature :D), I have very little reason to contradict them. The problem of going home was partially taken care of since I got in around 7:20 am, I'd be able to go home around 4:20 pm (thank goodness for flexi-time!)... MRT won't be too crowded by then. Also, now that I think about it, I've climbed four flights of stairs (we're in the 4th floor and yes, I don't usually use elevators... kind of serves as part of my daily exercise), and I still don't feel any foreign pain. I kind of got used to high heels. Hopefully, my feet remains at this state by the end of the day :P

Second, it's a button down knee-length dress... meaning it has a slit in front!!! The slit, unfortunately, reaches my mid thigh and I'm not too comfortable exposing so much flesh. I brought a jacket with me so I could use it to cover my legs when I'm seating (gosh!!! can't believe it could even go higher when I'm seated!). Hopefully, the aircon won't be too cold today or I'd freeze to death and mom will lose her eldest child because of a black dress (kidding! :P).

Lastly, I'm quite sure my officemates will be teasing me all day... Oh I so look forward to it! Darn!

GL8@Aveneto - nov 3, 2007

hay.. saya nung saberday! hehehe... so me advantages din pala nang ganun kaaga magmeet :) ehehe

i expected the movie (30 days of night) to be scary pero owel (i didn't get nightmares that night.. hehehe)... nakakagulat sya and there's so much blood! (i'm afraid of blood so you can just imagine me cringing while watching the film)...

thanks for the pics kang :) teanuts, wb! and un pics pasend din ha? :D

aimee, thanks for the bag and chocolates :D eheheheh... :)

sa mga nanlibre, salamat!!! sa uulitin!!! (hmmm.. lugi kami dun ah! 3 kayo e tapos ganun lang? hehehe.. joke!!!)

so kelan next? hehehe... (erika, aimee, GT!!! :D ok ako kahit saan pa yan! hahahahha!!!)

haberday kat!!!

haberday kat!!! sarap sarap food! :D hehehe... just wish i could've stayed longer :( tsk tsk tsk... kung wala lang pasok today... owel... next time :D it was really nice seeing you guys again :) ehehe... dami ko di alam buti na lang anjan si rach for the updates on almost everyone! ;)

mar, sensya na la ako pic na kasama ka e :D ehehehe.. pasend nung pics from your phone :) hehehe...

sayang... di *kayo* nakapagvideoke! (o nakapagvideoke ba kayo pag-alis namin?) :D

miss ko na yun ganun kwentuhan sa thadde!!! :D sa uulitin (at sana mas marami tayo)! :D

happy :D

hmm... la lang... i'm happy...simply happy :D

realizations

Upon waking up yesterday morning, I went out to get fresh air and lo and behold! I was surprised to see that there were vines growing in the garden! Yes, I go home everyday but somehow (I don't exactly know how), I always overlook that part of the garden. This made me realize how I could probably be overlooking some other aspects of my life... and this is probably why I still can't let go of my angst and bitterness. (and right after I just posted my thank yous :P ironic...)

pahabol thank you :D

i don't know if i made it clear enough sa previous thank you post ko but here goes:

To my friends, especially to those I incessantly bug everyday for pointless chats and endless rants, thanks for keeping me sane :D mwaaahhhhh!!!

thank yous :D

I saw on a billboard in edsa that today is National Thank You Day... wow! We really have that?! Anyway, yes, I am bitter, angsty, and sometimes, cynical... but I know that I still have a lot to be thankful for (so this is gonna be a bit long (and emotional)... i think :P):

First of all, my family. I feel so blessed to have them. My parents are my greatest role models in life. I believe that if I can be at least half the persons they are, I can consider myself fulfilled. Life hasn't always been good to us. I know all the hardships they endured and all the obstacles they overcame to get where they are now. They did their best to give us the best. And I will forever be thankful for that. My sisters, though we sometimes (ahem!) get into disagreements, are my motivation. They inspire me to aim for higher goals. They help me keep my sanity :P. And for them, my family, I'll do anything and everything. I love you! (and I 'll never tire of saying and showing it :P)

My relatives, especially Lolo Absalon, Lola Aida, Lolo Erning, and my titos and titas who took care of me and my sisters. Thank you for all the love and concern. Thanks for all the little things that mean a lot to us.

My friends. Thadde, GL8, officemates (in all the companies). :P Thadde, thanks for making my high school life meaningful and fun. Though I lost contact during the middle and latter part of college (which I'll always regret), thanks for still remembering and accepting me :P. I may not be as close to some as I want to be, but I'm still grateful for all the memories we had and will be having :P. GL8 (and others not yet included in GL8 yahoogroups hehe... seems we need to add mems :P), thanks for being my lifeline in college... and for still keeping the bond alive until now. To my officemates, thanks for making the workplace as fun as it can be... (yes, I know I tend to be a workaholic... :P so thanks for always reminding me to stop when I really need to...) I've learned a lot from all of you. To all my friends, you showed me the meaning of true er.. friendship :P I will always treasure all of our memories and hopefully, we can keep on making new ones :). (Gimik! Gimik! Gimik!!! :D bilis, habang "free" pa ako heheheh) I cannot ask for better friends than you... you guys are the best friends anyone could ask for!!! :D

And of course, to the Big Man up there. Thanks for giving me my family, my friends, my career (ehehe... would it be wrong if I ask for something better? :P... just in case), and good health (yes, contrary to what my former officemates -- yes, you know who you are -- think, I'm in perfectly good condition... with the exception of occasional migraine attacks and cramps :P). And thanks for always looking after my loved ones and keeping them safe. :D I couldn't ask for more... but actually there's just one more thing... :P (if you know me well enough, you know what it is :P)

boredom

i didn't know i'd get tired of doing nothing... for the past week (s) i've been idle... Not having anything to do could really be troublesome. So to pass time, I have reviewed my list of friends in Friendster, downloaded mp3s, watched videos in youtube, watched tv episodes in tv-links, took tests in Tickle (hehe... didn't know they have so much tests -- and of varying topics! -- there :D), read some ebooks... what else is there to do???

save me :P

eheheh.. long story (and i don't want to put too much details here... baka me makabasa na di dapat) basta sa aking probable saviors (alam nyo na kung sino kayo) salamat nang marami!!! hehehehe... told you i need to be saved :D hindi talaga sya si Wind... ehehehe... walang bawian ha? heheheh

(sana di na umabot sa puntong kinatatakutan ko.. eheheh)

question

a friend asked me if like, love, and inspiration always go hand in hand. when you like / love someone, does he have to inspire you? and if you don't get inspired with that someone, does that mean you don't like / love him? (i know that if someone inspires you, it does not equal to you actually liking / loving that person :D i can say that a certain person's success inspired me to do something about my own life... it doesn't necessarily mean i love that person... he / she may just be some random individual i happen to look up to... i might not even know him / her personally :P)

it made me think ... and think... but i still can't figure it out. :P

any ideas? heheheh...

thadde@greenbelt 28 sept 2007

hay... saya saya nung friday :D that was actually the first time i went home that late... and considering i didn't have my own transpo then :) btw, tal and choni: thanks sa paghatid!!! hehehe... salamat din sa paghihintay hanggang me taxi nang pumayag maghatid sa akin! :) hehehe...

kat, galing ng iyong "insider" skills hehehe... o di ba? magtulog ka habang la pa masyado gawa uli! ehehehe...

je, good luck :) wow!!! bakasyon!!! hay... i so long for one :) ehehhehe...

ria, grabe long time no see!!! paikot-ikot ka na lang ng mundo ah! heheheh...

jasmin, ok lang yan.. konting tiis pa :D exceed mo expectations nila!!! :D

tami, grabe high school pa ata kita huli nakita :)

grape, good luck po sa board!!! sana pag maluwag na uli sched mo makalakad uli tayo :D tagal ka na namin di nakita e... :)

sa ibang thadde: sana makalakad tayo uli :D tal, saan nga uli yun suggestion mo? anong island un? ehehehe :D

Note to self: do not believe the waiter when he says a serving is good for 10-12 persons (Superbowl ito.. Yang Chow Fried Rice)... heheheh... 6 lang kami naubos na e... di naman kami "gaano" matatakaw!!! hahahaha!!! at hwag titingin sa kakaibang painting (ay pic pala sya!) ehehe... hanggang bago ko matulog naalala ko pa itsura nun! hehehehe...

sa uulitin!

downloadable movies, shows... almost everything :D

I learned something new today. I learned of the beauty of the site http://www.tv-links.co.uk/

Okay, okay... most people probably know about it already but heck, I don't care!!! I can watch and download a lot of things here... (hehehe... they have Naruto and Death Note among other anime :D) and the file size is significantly smaller (I got Heroes Season 2 ep. 1 at approximately 121 MB) without compromising the video quality.... I'm raving I know... can't help it though.... :D

phone suggestions? :D

Last Saturday, we went around looking for phones. :) I did some asking around and net browsing beforehand so more or less I had an idea of the units I'm looking for. But alas, as expected the one I like the most is still not available here, and they have no idea when it will be released. :( At first I thought I could wait... but last night (and early today), my phone gave another sign that it won't last that long... I'd probably have to buy one as soon as I get my last pay from HP (sheesh it's already been 2 months!!!). So far my choices are: SE K850 (but it's still not available), SE K800 or K810, Samsung D900i, U600, U300... still looking for other units. The Samsung units are slide phones... any bad inputs on that? Erika said it isn't advisable to get one since it might have problems :( So I'm considering flip phones :D ehehehe... any suggestions?

...

While waiting in line for the FX to MRT, I don't know what happened. I don't know why but out of nowhere, I thought of you... and I suddenly started crying...

When you left, I was devastated. I should've expected it. You said goodbye but I ignored it, thinking it was just one of your whims. And then you were gone...

You were my bestfriend, my confidante. You were always there to comfort me. Always ready to encourage me. We made promises. We dreamt of great things. (I'm trying to achieve them. I know you know that.) You taught me a lot of things in life and I will forever cherish them.

I miss you Lolo.

Block GL8 :D

Saya saya! Sana maulit! :D Erika, thanks for the pics! :D

fade

You have loved him/her for so long, dreamt of things that could have been. But you've accepted that that's all they're going to be: dreams, a part of your make-believe world - a far cry from reality. You want to stop. But how?

How do you make IT fade? How do you tell yourself to stop when everything you do reminds you of him/her? How will you find someone else when you compare everyone to him/her? (when in fact, you know you shouldn't... s/he's not that great of a person anyway... s/he didn't see your worth :P) And for some weird reason, for you, they just don't seem to measure up...

How will you find your Wind when you're still clinging to Tree?

(*Wind and Tree were taken from an email sent to me before... I believe the title is something like "Love in 3 Perspectives" Tree, Leaf, Wind... don't know the writer though...)

complicated

Why does it have to be so complicated? You know how hard it is to get hurt, yet you unwillingly inflict the same pain to others... Why do we have to ignore the ones who adore us and adore the one who ignores us?

And when you finally decide to "give up", why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like you lost someone when in fact you never really "had" him/her?

You keep on telling yourself that someday you'll find the right one... one who'll appreciate your worth. But do "somedays" really come? What if the right one turns out to be one of those you chose to ignore? What then?

Complicated...

titles?

ok.. just found my computer file of poems and my notebook of poems and essays... found out that most (if not all :P) of my works are untitled... (and i placed untitled1, untitled2,...) i'll post some here (those that aren't too personal... heheheh...) and if you have any ideas, title suggestions are most welcome :D

1)

Once I dreamt of flying high
And being able to touch the sky
Then I dreamt of corals rare
That their beauty in my eyes they'll bare

I also dreamt of flowers in bloom
Serenading me with all sorts of tunes
(I then dreamt of a snow in June
Caressing me once in a blue moon)

Then I dreamt of having you
And I knew they won't come true...

Conqueror of dreams, take over me
Spare me the misery and the agony
Of knowing my dreams will never be
For I am just another me...

2)

The audience silently applauded
as the curtains drew to a close
The spotlight slowly faded
as the actors parted ways

Go on, unmask yourself
the show is over
the masquerade has finally ended...

how?

Note: This should apply to both sexes but for the purpose of this post I'll just be using the pronouns he, his, and him. (It's too troublesome to always type he/she, his/her, him/her.) :P


How exactly do you know if someone likes you? How indeed? Should you observe him and his actions and reactions? Should you watch out for any differences in the way he treats you (compared to how he treats and acts around others)? If he "showers" you with attention (calls, texts, messages, the likes), does that mean you're special? Should you try and catch if he's stealing glances? Should you take his being chivalrous and gentlemanly as signs that he fancies you?

But what if all these things are normal to him? What if he's just being nice and by thinking he likes you, you're actually just fooling yourself? What if you're just pushing yourself further into a trap… one that is of unrequited love?

No matter what the "signs" are, one could never fully read another person's feelings. Emotions and the human heart are way, way more complex than even the most intricate books. They're simply designed to be confusing and unpredictable.

One should not make any assumptions (on just about anything) unless explicitly stated. You just don't know if you're right or wrong. And by the time you figure it out, you'd probably be too caught up in your make-believe world to face reality... or in too much of an agony in a hell you yourself built.

So, how do you tell if someone likes you? Simple... you can't.

thadde! :D

thadde!!! grabe saya kagabi! thanks thanks!!! sa uulitin... missed you guys! penge pics ha? :D

Hope - Dream - Agony

Hope likes Agony... a lot. She's willing to do anything for him, always hoping he'll acknowledge her existence someday. He, however, disregards her all too quickly. He ignores her completely. After all, he has eyes only for Dream. She's everything he wants. For him, she's perfect... but he is to Dream as Hope is to him... nothing.

Why can't life be simple? Why can't Dream be Hope so that Agony won't be in, yes, agony? If everyone really has a choice, wouldn't it be easier if Agony just goes and chooses Hope? Wouldn't it make him happier? But alas, for him, the only way to happiness is in Dream's arms. But he couldn't have that now, could he? Because as her name states, she will only be a dream to him... someone he yearns for but could never have. He wants to let go and move on but he simply can't. He's lost without her. Without Dream, he feels empty, void. And he hates that feeling, loathes it even. However, he can't reach out to her... afraid that if he does, she'll leave his side completely, abandoning him in the darkness. And if he loses his light, he might lose any chance he has of ever getting out of the chaotic maze he submerged himself in.

Perhaps he could find his way out with Hope's help... but she's not bright enough for him. Her light is nothing compared to Dream's.

He knows she's hurting. He's the one causing her pain... the same ones Dream's mere presence caused him. He is Hope's Dream... torturing her with his every action. Yet, she still keeps on holding onto him... so he does the same... hoping that someday, she'll get him out of his misery.

For he, himself, knows the painful truth: He'll never have her because she's a dream that's way beyond Agony’s reach...

que sera sera...?

"Happiness isn’t having what you want---it’s all about wanting what you have…"
Wow. I still can’t decide if I believe this or not.

But if you want something, you can work for it and thus by achieving it, you also obtain happiness, right? So does it mean there's no limit to the happiness one can have? That it all depends on how much effort one puts into getting what he / she wants? But why is it that there are times when no matter how hard you struggle, you still don't get what you want? Is there such a thing as predetermined future? If there is, then what's the point of trying and trying? If there is such a thing as destiny, and you're destined to fail, then regardless of your hard work, you're still doomed. Why even try??? Wouldn’t it make our lives pointless?

So, now, why are there people who seem to be “destined” to be alone? And why are there people who seem to have been born with all the luxury one could ask for… all the blessings one could be given (oh, the fortunate ones…)? Who decides who gets which destiny? Isn’t there anything we can do about it? (But if you believe in destiny, there’s nothing to do but accept it, right? Because it’s the “universe’s natural order”.) But how exactly do we know which of the things happening to us are destined to occur? How the heck would we know if we’re actually going against what’s predetermined for us?

Hmmm… Do I believe in destiny? I still don't know... I let it rule over my life for a long time… nothing happened. And I’m too much of a coward to try and go against it (that is, if I’m not actually destined to not do anything about it…).

Confusing! :)

graduate studies?

just got another friendster mail from sir lounell... he asked me why i kept on shifting from one company to another (3rd pa lang naman a :D --> mobot batchmates, applicable din daw question na ito sa inyo :D)... and told me to also consider pursuing graduate studies... it made me remember that i actually was intending to take a post-graduate degree... (mimi, game?) just haven't decided if i'd take ms ee, mba, or law. hmmm... yet another thing to think about...

happily-ever-afters

“And they lived happily ever after… The End.” Almost all fairytales end that way. After the hero or heroine (most of the time the latter) suffers, then comes his / her rewards… They usually come in the form of a prince for a husband (or a princess for Aladdin’s case), a kingdom to rule on and probably everything and anything he / she could wish for. But does it really end there?

Did the prince really love Sleeping Beauty considering she may be a century older than him (she’s probably older than his great grandmother! It may not show but still…)? Wouldn’t their beliefs clash (It’s been a hundred years… a lot must have changed)? How about Snow White? Would any sane girl willingly spend the rest of her life with a necrophile? He’d probably try and get her to eat another one of those blasted apples for all she knows… And Cinderella? Someone like her must have developed an obsessive compulsive nature and she just moved to a place probably ten (or more) times bigger… a palace! And how about her animal friends? Would they really be allowed inside?

Most of us have grown up watching Disney films and loving every character…wishing that someday we’ll have the same fates… (Of course we’re talking about the heroes and heroines who had their happily-ever-afters. Who’d want to end up like Malificent or the Evil Stepmother anyway?) But are they even close to what’s happening in real life? Or are we just fooling ourselves with the belief that everyone has a happy ending waiting for them? Say you found someone to spend the rest of your life with. Does it really end with the “I do”s? Of course not. Will everyone get a happy-ending? Probably not… Well, it depends on what you consider as “The End”.

fairytales

found one of my old files... written last nov 2006... here's an abridged version of it.

I’ve always loved fairytales… As a child, I even asked Santa for a book filled with fairytales… and I got it :) The notion of a prince coming to a girl’s rescue or of love conquering all obstacles just appeal to me… Or maybe that should be “appealed”… Yes, I am past that disillusioned state. Somewhere along my teenage years, I’ve gone from the girl going giddy over a silly tale to the very cynical person I am now. I always loved love stories… I still do. But now, I finally understand that those things, the knight-rescues-damsel-in-distress stuff and those happily ever afters, they don’t really happen in real life… at least not to me… They make good plots for books, stories, movies, but not in my world, not in my life…

I’m no princess… I know that. I’ve long ago given up the idea that a Prince Charming will come my way and instead resigned myself to the fate of being alone. You can’t blame me. I have waited long enough. Sure, the other fairytale princesses didn’t get to meet their princes right from the start… but that’s just it. They ARE princesses. I simply am not. It’s harder to wait for something, to hope or dream for someone when you know for a fact that there’s a very big chance he won’t come… Sure, Rapunzel waited long enough for her hair to grow that long and Sleeping Beauty waited a hundred years. But Rapunzel was stuck in a tower. She didn’t have an inkling of what was happening in the outer world. She didn’t get tormented with seeing the man she’s pining for chase another girl nor did she had the chance to attend a party and feel totally left-out. She didn’t have friends who constantly remind her of her loneliness (they may not really mean it… they might not even be aware of it). And Sleeping Beauty? Well, she was SLEEPING through the years of waiting!!! And the moment she woke up, there he was… already waiting for her! How convenient is that?!? And what about me? My prince probably got stuck in a labyrinth… doomed never to find his way out. Or worse, he could have found some other princess while he was on his quest to find me and he decided to go and have his ‘happily-ever-after’ with her… But no matter what I say, it still boils down to the question: Have I really accepted a life alone? Or am I just saying it to try and convince myself? I don’t know… I won’t be waiting for my prince to come knocking on my door… but I’ll still keep my half of the glass slipper just in case he did get to my part of the town and still has his half waiting for mine…

long weekend

so many things to do... so little time! :D
last night, had a get together with some friends (hopefully maulit :) and sana pati ibang friends magkaget together din :) ) and got home around 2 am. i thought the whole night would end well... but alas, malas ako!!! ahehehe... while entering the driveway, i didn't notice a protruding sharp end of the planter box in our gate and unfortunately got my right rear tire cut. hay... good thing may reserba... owel... have to buy a new tire ... :(

just today, we watched shutter ... hay... kagulat! :D

hmmm... ano kaya magawa bukas? :D

hmmm... ? or ?

given the choice, who will you go for (if you can't have both)? the one you love or the one who loves you? most of my friends answered the former. call me selfish, but as of this very moment, i think i'd go for the latter. don't get me wrong... if i can have both, then by all means... :) but maybe i just got tired of waiting for the one i love that i'd now probably opt for the one who loves me ...

at last!!!

at last!!! i've been meaning to get a blog eons ago but as always, i've placed it low on my priorities... but since i have a bit of free time, why not try? :)

just gonna share random thoughts on random things... comments are most welcome! :)